Sunday, February 12, 2006

two sides

It was also this time a year ago when there was heavy snowfall but I wasn't at home watching Heather Graham movies. I was walking through Central Park under orange flags. I remember as I walked through The Gates that I wished I was going in between the orange poles with someone. I wished that someone was there to explain their take on the orange. I wished I was focusing on the art rather than the hand-holding all around. I wished that I was sharing my pretzel (not selling them*). I was also probably thinking about a new job, a new apt, new travels, and a new hairdo, the usuals during a self-reflective walk.

It's been said that when you're single, true introspection can take place. Hence phrases like, "I just need to take some time for myself," "I need figure myself out". Conversely, there's also a sense of reflection that you can't get from yourself or even from family or close friends. The one that you're intimate with will tell you things about you that others haven't seen or had the effort or assertion to say. They'll tell you that you snore. That you have a way of arguing. That you trail off (or on and on) in longer stories. That you brush your teeth funny. That you get defensive. That you need to let things go once you've accepted an apology. They should be telling you these things to try and make you a better person. Or, sometimes, just to tease you.

There are two sides in a reflection, one can't exist without the other. To grow, to change, to be a better me, I need both- me time and he time.

*I saw a post on CL to 'help the arts while being outdoors, meeting great people interested in art and enjoying hot meals'. Translation: Sell Fritos and Snapples at the concession stand by Sheep's Meadow. I arrive, they hand me some fingerless gloves so that I can efficiently work the register. Corn chips and peach iced tea on the house, how could I leave?