Wednesday, March 31, 2004

Smile, child

In a city where grimaces are prevalent and normal, someone asked me to smile today. While sitting at the park sipping a chai latte, an elderly black man innocuously approached me, propped his cane on the bench and took a seat. He asked me if I rode the subway. I warily nodded. He told me that I had to shake off the negative energy that roams the underground. T'is true, the subway can be a languid place. Eye contacts are scarce and you can forget about smiles. Now, I'm not exactly your 'turn that frown upside down' kind of gal but sometimes I do wonder if my daily commute would be less oppressive if friendlier simpers prevailed. He mutters, "today's young people don't know how to be happy." I had no rebuttal. My silence was agreement. The tortured soul/the world owes me/I'm going to eat some worms attitude is very in for my generation. As I gathered my things and got up to leave, I turned towards him and flashed the biggest smile I could and told him to have a nice day. He responds, "now go do that around the city." I nod, I pivot, my lips meet, cheeks settle and eyes sit, back to stoic. It's a work in progress...

Tuesday, March 30, 2004


Past habits: Chewing gum constantly. Smoking. Vicodin. Splitting split ends. Putting a song on repeat. Swabbing my belly. Looking both ways on a one way street (I said habit thus, not conscious). Running 30-60 minutes late. Eating late at night. Finishing a paper moments before its deadline. Screening calls. Calling my mom back days later. Cooking dinner (microwave counts).

Current habits: Chewing gum only after a smoke (which is still a constant). Putting a CD on repeat. Plucking my hairless lids. Walking on DON'T WALK. Tardy by only 10-15 minutes. Eating after clubs/bars. Proofreading papers the night before. Returning calls. Picking up my mom's call every night. Ordering food in.

I guess it evens out.

Monday, March 29, 2004

On your mark, get set, think.

Some people meditate, some work out, some practice yoga or Kabalah (at least until Madonna finds a new holistic exercise) and then there are those who turn to their Sauconys. I am a part of that latter group. I run. Admittedly, I don't run for health or physical gain- that is evident when I leave the house with with my keys and a pack of smokes.

I reached Central Park and began running. I mean really running. I passed by joggers, pacers and even left some bikers in the dust. Yes, I felt a little silly looking like I was a part of a one-woman Forest Gump marathon with no fellow runners or a finishing ribbon to run towards yet, I found aleviation in pursuing a single-tracked focus. However, I don't know why. I've been running for as long as I can remember not because I'm great at it but because of its boundless liberation. It can be done aimlessly and and requires no honing of a skill so long as it is done solo and that's exactly how I do it. There's no team to answer to or instructor to follow. I find great exoneration in that. I brood over any troubles, stresses or dilemmas. However, I'm beginnning to to question the actual effects of this time honored practice of mine. Perhaps, this limitless terrain is actually limiting. Often when I run, nothing has been effectively resolved. Physically, I return home sweaty and hungry. Mentally, I have completed a wayward loop. Today, during my aimless route that parallels my roundabout thoughts, I decided that the best solution to my problem is to keep running.

Sure, they say not to run from your problems but sometimes I think the best solution to a problem is to not come up with a solution... just keep running and eventually the running will digress into a walk, soon to be followed by a pleasant stroll home.

Saturday, March 20, 2004

Club Codes

A couple of observations about clubs/bars I have believed for a while...and apparently, still do...

Ask yourself, is the $7 drink worth a 7 minute conversation? I figure it like this, if a guy offers you a drink, you're obliged to chat with the fella at least until you finish your drink. It may make for better times to treat yourself.

Sometimes I feel like I'm in the "Night at the Roxbury," dancing while earnestly scoping out the scene, scouting for some eye treats. Like the studs from the Roxbury, at that point I'm so preoccupied I just look like a bodily twitch to the music.

When a girl tells a guy that she can't hang out anymore because of her friend, i.e. "I would love to get another round of drinks but I better see what's up with my friend," or "Heading to another bar sounds great but I think my friend wants to head home" it's usually code for I'm politely separating from you. Sure, it's courteous to check in with your partner in a crime but not during game time, we wait for halftime and if we want to play overtime, we don't need to ask for permission.

wow...I need a hobby.

Wednesday, March 10, 2004

Nikki's Hickies

What to say about Miami? Here are the trigger notes: Ocean's Ave., Collins' clubs, NIKKI BEACH :)>, Delano, Cafe News flash, pizza huddle, fresh Mynt, poisoned Opium...

Sightings: Puff Diddy, Lenny Kravitz (y'all 'member the video with the towel scene? well, the camera does not lie), Paris and beau Nick, J.C. sans Tara, and Korea representing at WMC with Park Jin-Yong.

Shortage of: Patrons, suntain oil, TOWELS, hotel keys ;) shrimp cocktails, mussels.

Abundance of: muscles, ta-ta's, grease, soccer boys, International delectables- Greek, Israel, Canada, Chicos, Itos, Mohitos, Jackson Brothers canNOT sing, Korea stepping up to China, Adam paints still life of Moon, cliches under the stars, sand in the hair (still...dirty), American Eagles preying, long walks over rainbows, pot of gold destinations, Funyun breakfasts, photo shoots a la L & C, Rocket's Invasion, futon heaven, cloud mine, then yours, then hers, mean green dress stress, garage house music+garage band looks= hat goggles, black rover, black rover won't you send the driver on over, ee-eye ee-eye Ito, kisses and misses, great times with a couple of wizards.

Yep, we're dancing in water. Water stage-->dancing sans heels...someone was thinking.

Saturday, March 06, 2004

To have felt than not felt at all

The worst possible feeling is feeling nothing. I'm happy to feel sad.

Thursday, March 04, 2004

Bienvenido a Miami

Fun in the sun looms upon me. In three short days, I will basking in the sun of Southbeach Miami, sipping margaritas, digging my pedicured feet in the sand. Some girlfriends and I are headed there for the Winter Music Conference. An event that draws the likes of everyone in the music industry: DJ's, musicians, producers, and then of course, the ever-present groupie- that's me. Actually, I prefer the term Band-aid, in memory of Penny Lane. A full weekend of non-stop music, parties, hot tubs, beaches, tanning with others all in the same spirit.

So, then why am I not as excited as I thought I would be? I can't seem to muster up the enthusiasm. Normally, by now I would have re-packed my luggage twice, picked up a beach tote, and found the perfect sunglasses. Rather, I'm preoccupied with what I'll be missing here in NY. Why is it that the one weekend you're out of town, there's something new and different going on in town? I guess St. Patty's Day celebrations are quite festive here, which is a shame because I like the Green. I leave this Saturday, the day after the big B Day so, officially, when I arrive it's just about the sun, sand and sips. I just better get carded.

Monday, March 01, 2004

A Day in the Park

Finally, a peek of spring graced us with its presence today. The slightly balmy air had the enitre city out and about. Tripping on dog leashes, stepping aside for strollers I headed to Washington Square Park to people watch, sip a latte, have a smoke and catch up on phone calls back to Cali.

With so much activity surrounding me, I tucked away the Nokia and became a part of the free-loading audience of street performers. From twin brothas somersaulting mid air, Jerry Garcia look-alikes playing banjos, skaters gliding on the concrete curbs, electoral campaigning, women selling handmade accessories, homeless selling used books and whatever else redeemable dispose, dogs playing, dog owners conversing like proud parents, couples making out, couples fighting, singles reading, talking on phones and scoping other singles, it was a good show. Only in NY could such a show take place all in the confounds of a park simply because it was 54 degrees.