how he

What makes someone sexy? Looks? Skills? Talent? T-shirt and jeans? Try to avoid the obvious attributes and hone in on the habits, idiosyncracies and movements that go unrecognized even by the do-er. That's the sexy stuff- the conscious-less, habitual qualities. People's reflexes.

How he grips objects. How he palms a cup and his fingers wrap around the entire cylinder. How a leg slides back when he bends over to open a bottom drawer and his back slopes long and hollow. How he rubs his head front to back to front as his wooly cap comes off. How it takes a lot to get him to laugh at his own jokes. How a man of his capacity walks the city by getting out of others' ways. How his eyes sit heavy until after breakfast. How his middle finger leads his gesticular hands. How he never smiles when he sings. As if he's serious. How he laughs at my jokes but never really gives it up. How he softly roams a museum. How his hands come together behind his back when he leans towards a piece. How he never starts a phone call with "where are you?" How he could win a staring contest with a statue. How he comes up from behind me but I can see his towering shadow cast over mine moments before causing my body to slightly crouch in preparation. How he leaves a third of a dish then tells me that he saved me half. How he reads four books at a time. How he can only talk to one person at a time. How he looks up from his cello on longer notes. How he picks herbs straight off the bushel, blows, then chews. How he can go without a plate for some foods, how he places crackers right on the tabletop. How he isn't afraid to reach for flowers, jewelry and unicorns. How his body twists when he throws a frisbee. How he crouches with his legs stationed and hand in mit in the in-field. How he smiles more with his eyes than his mouth. How he shoots a smile at you over dinner when there are no words. How he grabs a handful of nuts then cups his face to eat them. How he sends group photos with unflattering shots of himself in it: shaved-head, pony-tailed, mustached, bearded, in a dress, in a uniform but in all of them, I can still see him. I can see what he did to get into that pose, how he chuckled or shook his head right after. How he sees himself in photos, smiling or sighing. When you see someone see themself with clarity and security, that's sexy.