Sunday, June 08, 2003

Clouds in my Cosmo

I believe my next door neighbor can smell me...through the walls. I sat in the clouded room filled with swirls of smoke most of the night. Went out with some friends to a frequent scene. Found myself not entertained, not amused, not buzzed, and not dancing- usually when all else fails, I can convince myself to burn a few calories on the dance floor, but not tonight. So, plan B was in effect, sit and smoke in the cigar lounge.

Although, I didn't feel the need to light a cigarette either, simply breathing in that room was sufficient nicotine. So, I sat in an oversized lazy boy (I really want one of those for my apartment, risk: it may become my bed, desk, eating area--permanent indentation of Candy) and chewed my Nicorette (they should come out with tastier flavors). As I conduct one of my favorite pastimes, people watch, I observe a couple fighting. They're standing right over me, totally ignoring my presence which was fine by me, and huff and puff. To the right of me, is another quarrel. A girl is talking on her cell phone to what appears to be her boyfriend. Evidently, she's trying to appease the situation of her being out without him. She cajoles him by telling him that the party is not fun without him and that she can't wait until it's over. All the while, the couple standing over me is continuing there dispute about how he has neglected her the entire night. In sum, they're trite fights that take place between a boy and a girl at a club.

Club Culture Tenets:
#1- Fight off the floor. Sometimes the unavoidable truth is that couples find themselves fighting in front of closed doors. In such a case, do your best effort to get behind those closed doors. The surrounding crowd will only amplify the situation. Friends come around and both parties feel the need to show the other up.

#2- Call from the bathroom or if you've been stamped, step outside. A call will seem much more sincere thus, appreciated, if you take the initiative to find a quiet locale. Yelling, "I can't wait to see you," loses a bit of the romance.

#3- Finally, the only thing lamer than fighting at a club is speculating one. Dance, drink, and be merry.

Now, that I have posed as the Ellen Fein & Sherrie Schneider of Clubbing, I will sleep. Nick at Nite sucks on the weekends.