Sunday, June 22, 2003


“To wait or not to wait," that is the question. Sex becomes less and less imperative to think about post virgin-life. The parallel of it to some space shuttle launch is reduced to more of a comparison to an end-date activity. Yet, even if it’s on a much lighter scale, there is still a reminiscent contemplation when encountered with the primordial debate of how soon is too soon? I have always advised girlfriends to have sex on their terms, meaning do it when they feel its right, when they feel ready, etcetera, etcetera. To forget The Rules (as far as I’m concerned that book may be the guide to getting married but it's the anti-Bible for dating), to not worry about the stigma of having sex on the first night. Unfortunately, that repute is undeniable. Seemingly, there is an assumption made about girls who do. Perhaps, suppositions like, being easy, having been around or lack of esteem. What about the presumption of a woman simply wanting it, not to please the man, but herself? What about the idea of her wanting just that from a guy and nothing more? What about the possibility of woman having sex like a man? "oh" *mouth over hand* Unfortunately, this situation epitomizes a double standard. I have heard some solid, if not amusing, rebuttals to it.

“A guy could just as easily dump you if you sleep with him on the first date as he can if you wait until the tenth” (Samantha Jones, SATC).

“Sleep with the guy on the first date and he thinks you’re a slut. Sleep with him on the second date and he thinks he’s irresistible” (Mary Jane Doe).

“If you want him to call you at 2 a.m., sleep with him, if you want to be taken out, wait.” (Mary Jane Doe Jr.)

I say...*exhale* Don’t sleep with him if you don’t want to, but also don’t sleep with him as some sort of bribe in hopes to trail him along. Sex shouldn’t be used as a weapon against you or for you. And that’s that. *light cigarette*